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What’s in a name?

Valor,

Someday before you’re too old you may wonder what was going through your parents’ heads when they named you. The runner-up—in case it makes you feel any better—was Vigor, a name your mother remembered from a book,  Seventh Son, by Orson Scott Card. That was the first name that actually got us thinking about “virtue” names, and it would have celebrated how your physical vitality distinguishes you from your older brother, who died at fifteen months, and your older sister, who died at fifteen weeks’ gestation.

Vigor would have been appropriate given how you behave in your mother’s womb, shifting and kicking and growing. Last week we even caught you doing something your older brother could never do—touching your toes—and it looks like it even made you smile. It definitely made us smile:

But we didn’t like how Vigor sounded phonetically, and it wasn’t the complete idea your dad had in mind.

The idea of valor, or bravery, captures much of what we desire for you and for ourselves. One dictionary defines it as “having great courage in the face of danger.” We see true valor as acting selflessly, or for the benefit of others, where there is real danger and need, and without regard to personal loss. It’s sacrificing yourself for a greater cause. Valor is not flashy, a device to garner publicity or attention, but rather a humble strength.

We started to esteem the quality of valor after James was born and diagnosed. After our expectations of a healthy, above normal, intellectual child had been crushed, the qualities that James did have became much more beautiful to us than the ones we thought our child would be entitled to. He didn’t display the demanding selfishness that anyone would expect from a baby, but (for the most part) patiently accepted and endured the painful treatments he received every day. He drew upon an inner resolve, not dependent upon how he was feeling, to live and give smiles to others. This is a glimmer of valor. You don’t have to wait to be a grown-up to have it.

You don’t have to be a superhero, either. Opportunities to show valor often come in times of suffering or crisis, and we all experience these things from time to time. Your daddy’s friend Xiao showed valor when he dealt with his brain cancer diagnosis, resolving to hope in God when the odds were against recovery. He led his family to pray, “This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it” (Psalm 118:24) instead of despairing or demanding different circumstances. He patiently depended on his wife for everything when he lost his abilities to work and walk and talk at the age of 33.

We look forward to reading The Lord of the Rings with you, where one of our favorite characters is a diminutive gardener named Samwise Gamgee who demonstrates valor. As much as we see bravery in literature and in movies, the idea is sometimes lost in the real world, as we’ve found that people readily call selfish acts and publicity stunts “brave.” Remember, valor is humble and sacrificial as well as brave and strong.

As much as we want this name to describe you at your best moments, we wish it would describe us, too. It’s something we are hoping you will see in us as God helps us. A character of valor is more valuable than health or fitting in or intelligence. If you feel our expectation for you is high, remember, we hold it out as a goal for ourselves as well.

Your second name, Edwards, is after Jonathan Edwards, the great American Puritan preacher and writer. He was also the first missionary biographer (of David Brainerd).

We chose Edwards as a namesake because he was the first theologian to emphasize joy or delight in God as a part of God’s character as well as the Christian’s. Any valor that we possess, buddy, comes through the strength and inspiration of God, following as we would be that perfect example, Jesus Christ. But we want you to know that there is a reward for the sacrifice and the exertion of valor, and that reward is true joy! Hebrews 12:2 says. “Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Joy motivated Jesus, and we want it to motivate us too, rather than some heavy sense of duty or requirement. Edwards is in your name to remind us all that knowing and serving God is our ultimate source of joy.

Secondarily, as a practical matter, we wanted a more common middle name for you, in case you should choose to use it instead of Valor to blend in more as “Edward” or “Ed.” (We very much wanted your name to memorialize our friend Xiao, but Valor Xiao Gjertsen would have been a little much for people, don’t you agree?) The clincher that sealed Edwards for us was that Xiaojian’s name means “Morning Sword,” and Valor Edwards is an anagram of “Red Lava Sword,” which seemed related. Sometimes your parents are as weird as you suspect. And yes, sometimes, they are even weirder.

Love,
Mom & Dad

12 thoughts on “What’s in a name?”

  1. Beautiful.

    I have a stepdaughter that came into the world under unusual circumstances and I often think her name should reflect more of who she is than just a name her mother liked. This child-who came into the world three years after her parents divorced with no intervention from science-has showed me more about sacrifice, hope and faith than I thought was possible. Every day her mother, father and me receive the gift of a child that was just meant to be.

    It’s hard to put into words, but I hope Valor brings the same to you.

  2. What a tremendous gift this is to young Valor Edwards – even before his birth!
    Thank you for caring about the significance of a name and sharing your hearts with us.

  3. What a Extrodinary Name! I hope that you enjoy your little bundle of Joy. I have enjoyed reading your blogs and can honestly say I have been touched by James story. You truly are blessed.

  4. What a wonderful name with a beautiful story behind it! I can’t wait ’til we in the blogosphere get the chance to meet him – but until then, we’ll wait patiently!

  5. Awesome name! Love the meaning of it. You guys are definately a good and godly kind of weird. Valor is blessed to have you as parents.

  6. Love the name. I didn’t have time to figure out the puzzle, I printed it out but with 3 boys in baseball and all of Rylands appt I’m pretty busy. If you get a chance check out Ryland’s site. Take Care:)

  7. I didn’t have time to do the puzzle- kitchen remodel and dealing with my son’s consistent health issues- plus to be honest the puzzle scared me a little- so even if I had time, I’m not sure I would have tackled it. But, as I was certain, the name is amazing and one I am sure your son will be proud of for the rest of his life. I love it. Edwards is a favorite (of course) and Valor- is perfect… a reflection of his heritage.

  8. Baby Valor,

    Since I know you are going to be a lot like your parents, I can’t WAIT to meet you, get to know you, and enjoy life with you!

    You are already a joy and a delight to all who know of you and your parents, and I can only imagine what the Lord will do with you!!

  9. We rejoice with you at the Lord’s faithfulness in your lives. It will bring all of us great JOY to soon meet Valor Edwards.

  10. This is so beautiful. Valor Edwards Gjersten, you’ve got some of the most amazing parents. You may not notice how weird your parents are, since you’ll probably be just as weird – in the most endearing ways.

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