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rule of thumb

Things are getting better and better here in the House of Gjertsen. Valor is starting to bust out of his 3-6 mo. clothes and weighs 15 pounds these days, at 2.5 mos. old (95th percentile). He’s healthy and hale and full of hearty open-mouthed smiles for almost all comers. We love catching that sunshine! He likes grinning at me during the “intermission” of a feeding; sometimes it’s hard to get him to go back to work, he’s smiling so much.

One of his newest skills is finding his thumb to suck. The whole sucking instinct is a pretty interesting phenomenon. When he gets his pacifier in his mouth, his eyes roll up into his head and he seems to enter a kind of nirvana-state of euphoria, and when he loses it, which happens frequently, he’s plunged into the worst kind of withdrawal. This is why we have christened his paci “the crackpipe.” (I apologize if that’s offensive to anyone, but with our very thirdhand knowledge of drugs it’s just a joke. I’m not even sure I could identify a real crackpipe.)

I have come 180 degrees on my opinion about thumb-sucking vs. pacifier. I used to think thumb sucking was too germy, but after getting up to plug in his paci about 500 times, I’m ready for some self-soothing. The issue may be decided by the child more than the parent anyway. I’d be more concerned about the whole thing if Valor needed either one to sleep at night. But right now his nighttime sleep does not involve anything in his mouth until he wakes up about 5:30; then he either finds his thumb and goes back to sleep, or doesn’t and I get up and feed him.

Valor’s still eating during the day about every 2.5 hours, then we have playtime for about an hour. He does need something in his mouth to help him get to sleep for naps (he sleeps in his crib unless the grandparents are here!). He falls asleep much more quickly for naps these days, probably in about 10 minutes most of the time, and sometimes faster.

The only drawback is that he has been waking up after about 30-40 minutes, which is only long enough for me to eat something, check my email, and go to the bathroom before it’s time to entertain a crankypants who isn’t quite ready to eat. On the whole, his routine is pretty predictable right now. That means it’s about to change, right?

Valor’s playtime is much more fun for me than it used to be. His head control is still wobbly but stronger for longer periods of time. He enjoys looking at his mirror friend (a very polite, cheerful young man and a snazzy dresser to boot, although a little lacking in the hair department). Valor has started looking at AND listening to books like One Fish, Two Fish and The Jesus Storybook Bible. He often smiles during bathtime, loves to watch the medieval characters on his crib mobile go ’round, and—drum roll please—he’s starting to play with toys. He looks at them, bats at them, and can even reach out and grab them, but he doesn’t have coordinated release skills yet.

Valor had a great Halloween weekend. He was fascinated with his godzilla socks (he’s started noticing his feet, more than his hands so far). To greet the trick-or-treaters, it was too warm for his long-sleeved ghost costume, so we had to settle for his jack-o-lantern shirt with his orange diapers, monster socks, and the candy corn hat–sort of a Frankenstein ensemble, you could say!

For all those who liked Valor’s crying pumpkin patch picture, you should know that it is a tradition in our family to torture our children with excruciating photo ops. Here is James’s reaction when our jack-o-lantern fun went a little too long (6 mo. old). Is there a family resemblance, or it is just that the parents haven’t changed??

It’s actually pretty hard for me to see much resemblance between our sons. They may have the same eye and hair color, but their faces are pretty different. Valor’s skin seems tan (where did that come from?) while James’s was fair; their laughs sound different (Valor’s is more of a heh-heh-heh while James’s was a hmmm). They both get the hiccups after laughing, though.

I’m still waiting to feel the intensity of emotion for Valor that I felt for James. I’m starting to think that it just isn’t going to feel the same. That protectiveness and admiration and sadness and defiant interdependence—it felt like it was us against the world, and always would be—isn’t there with Valor. He feels tough and indestructible and well on his way to independence (as long as he finds his thumb when he needs it).

24 thoughts on “rule of thumb”

  1. What a little CUTIE!!!

    As for the family resemblance, I don’t know if it’s just me but James and Valor have the exact same sort of nose, and something about the expressiveness of the eyes is similar. Also, those cheeks! I see a resemblance for sure, but they are also very different.

    One thing that they most certainly have in common is that both are a blessing from our Heavenly Father. No one could ever argue that. Two precious boys!

  2. i was going to say the same thing about the nose and eyes….and if I could only share all the similar pics we have of nathan and anna getting through the photo shoots. Now, of course, Anna will be doing something cute and I’ll be watching her, and she says, “Take a picture of me.” I must have a certain look when I’m thinking, “Where’s my camera? Do I have time to go get it and she’ll still be doing this?”

    Just keep clicking away (and being thankful that’s it’s digital, not film like I had with Nathan!).

  3. Valor is such a sweetheart !! I can see so much similarities between Valor and James. The last 2 pics in this post, just looking between the two, there are so many similarities in them. I am a professional photographer and I just love getting those “odd” pics such as the baby in the pumpking, lol, even though the babies are sometimes less than cooperative. LOL
    Good Luck with your new adventure !!

  4. I see a resemblance, too! I wonder if Valor will grow the same long eyelashes as his big brother had?
    For thumb sucking, I would prefer to encourage the pacifier. Thumbs instil a habit of mouth breathing and can deform the palate whereas pacifier will require nose breathing and won’t change teeth position.

  5. Those socks are adorable, as is the wearer. I love how unimpressed he looks in the Halloween costume picture. Baby’s have the best expressions (or are just cuter making them).

    I laughed out loud at the crackpipe thing, we’ve just now broke my three year old nephew from his addiction. It was tough going, and from what I’ve seen of the show Intervention, pretty similar to withdrawal symptoms of hardcore addictions :P.

    I wouldn’t too much about not loving your sons exactly the same. The love a parent has for their first born is always a strong connection even in cases where all of the children are healthy. Besides, with James you had to pack so much love in so little time, which is probably why it was so intense. With Valor, chances are he’s going to be around awhile. There aren’t the pressing medical concerns James had. You’re going to have years to shower Valor with love and affection, and so it doesn’t have to be so intense, it can be calm and slow and build with time.

    That’s just my opinion, of course, but hopefully they’re helpful words from yet another adoring “Cake Wrecks” follower :).

  6. I agree w/ everything that the 5 previous posters said! I too see a major resemblance between Valor & James.

    As far as feelings go, too, it will be different this time. Sarah summed it up perfectly.

    Also, as a lifelong fan of Godzilla movies, I wholeheartedly approve of his socks 🙂

  7. Ditto to the family resemblance. They are most definately brothers.

    I love his pumpkin costume. It makes me want to tickle the laugh right out of his thighs.

  8. Yep, definitely brothers. I agree, it’s the nose and eyes! The smile is similar, too, except no one will ever match that sweet crooked grin that James had!

    I know we can’t help comparing our feelings for our children, but I’ve discovered that the love I have for my firstborn has nothing to do with the love I have for my other children. It’s like trying to ask who my favorite is – silly, when my feelings for them are unrelated. They’re my blessings from God and each of them so different!

    I love the one who brings me flowers (weeds) in a chubby fist. I love the one who cuddles next to me with their 5th storybook. I love the one who shows me song after song on his ipod so I can understand his music passions. I love the one who makes me shortbread. I love the one who spills her heart until 1:30 in the morning! Each day is a new adventure with each of them, making me love them more.

    JoAnna

  9. Valor is showing good sense…he knows there is no reason to have hair, when he can’t comb it himself. Also very thoughtful of him to take the task of “wrangle baby’s hair into a respectable do” off mama’s busy schedule.

  10. A great baby sport is to tie a helium balloon to one foot and give them a little time on there back.

    Kick foot, balloon moves. Endless hours of baby entertainment.

      1. I grew up with Nickelodeon, and watched Rugrats almost from its premiere. It helped to foster my love of malapropisms. 🙂
        Ooh, Reptar has a wiki page!! Neat. I should have looked it up, but then again, I never remember how to code hyperlinks, so thanks for that.

  11. To others, my boys are identical. To me, they only favor a small amount. I think I am much too close to judge.

    I love seeing pics of Valor!

  12. Lisa, I agree with you. Me and my sister look quite different (I think). I have blue eyes and red hair, she has green eyes and brown hair, as well as the fact that I am 2 years older than her, and yet so many people think we are twins.

    1. Too funny, Charlotte. My sister and I are always pegged as twins, yet I don’t think we favor at ALL. I have blonde hair and blue eyes. She has brown hair and brown eyes. I’ll give you this, we have the same laugh. 🙂 Oh, and we are also two years apart.

  13. Hey,
    You just don’t feel it for Valor yet because you haven’t been challenged in that way — yet. The first time he gets shoved down at the playground it will well up uncontrollably.
    And I hate to say it, but I don’t think the common denominator for the sad halloween photo ops was the parents or the kids.
    stinky knitted hats.
    bummer.

  14. Hey…Valor is SO CUTE…and he’s huge, but he’s not that sumo wrestler huge…he’s actually quite well-proportioned, so he must be tall!

    Possibility for his “tan” look may be that he had some breastmilk jaundice? It usually sits at a level that is NOT at all dangerous, but high enough to give babies a bit of a “bronzed” look and can last for weeks before falling to completely normal. Nothing to really do or check, but just so you know…he may start to get that same milky-white skin of his brother (and parents?) in the next few weeks! 🙂

  15. Emerson had the same ghost onesie in the NICU last year. She was the only ghost among a lot of pumpkins 🙂 This year she was a mermaid!!

  16. I started reading Sweet Baby James about a month ago when I came across your post on Cake Wrecks. I poured over it at work and at home, sometimes only being able to read a single post through my tears. My fiance wanted to know why I cared so much about a baby I didn’t even know, but I feel like I know James and both of you too! When I getting to the end of Sweet Baby James (before realizing this blog was here) I was upset that it was going to end. How could these awesome, God fearing people cut me (a perfect stranger, I know) out of their lives?! When I read that you intend to continue blogging here, I was ecstatic. So much so in fact I read everything on this site in a day! I was even more ecstatic when I learned about Valor! I was so happy that God blessed you with a happy, healthy, and (now) smiley baby. I even convinced my fiance to look at pictures of both James and Valor and he’s come around. We exclaimed together how beautiful both boys are and how alike they look in their pumpkin pictures. Thank you SO much for letting me and so many others into your lives. You have been an inspiration to me this past month (ok, probably less than that) and show me just how far faith in God will take you.

    Katie

  17. Re: Meep- Good call about Reptar! I used to watch ‘Rugrats’ as a wee one, too, much to the chagrin of my older cousins that babysat me, lol. And as far as ‘betraying age’, I’m 26. The reason I know of all things Godzilla is b/c I wanted to watch whatever my dad watched when I was little, hence why I love the old lizard and imitate The Three Stooges at the drop of a hat 🙂

  18. It’s been a while since I popped in to see how you guys are doing & since the last time I was here – you had a bubba!!! Hugest congrats. I’m so pleased for you. God really is good, isn’t He?!

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