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Home ยป fee-FIVE-fo-fum!

fee-FIVE-fo-fum!

Arrrr! (or a Viking war cry!) The Mighty Valorbug is five months old today. He’s in the 95th percentile for height and 90th for weight (almost 19 lbs.). I’m kind of relieved that he’s not shrimpy with a tough-guy name like Valor. Right now he’s so big, you have to put your foot on the Bumbo seat and pry him out of it.

But not for long. He’s starting to sit independently for longer at a time…about half a minute is the current record. I had been thinking that this was the goal in terms of being able to leave him alone to play while I get something done, but now I realize that will only happen when he can right himself after toppling over! He still shows no interest in rolling over, so that may be a while.

The jumperoo and exersaucer have been fun distractions that keep him upright. Valor loves to use his hands to play with all the toys. He’s able to bang, grab, scoop (with two hands, towards his mouth of course), push, shake, smack, and shut (a book).

After a couple months of great anticipation about when his hair would grow in, we realized that it is in, and the color isn’t brown or blond, it is invisible. Valor’s hair manifests itself as a mist, a fuzzy aura, a slight decrease in definition around the edges of his head.

Valor’s not the only one with room to grow in the hair department. My thick, lustrous “pregnancy hair” has heeded the call to flee the follicles, and I feel like half my hair has fallen out in the last month and a half. Bummer! At least I lost the pregnancy weight before receiving this check to my vanity.

Sometime this month Valor turned 135 days old, and we didn’t even notice. That is how long James was in the hospital before he came home. It seems incredible now that such a huge amount of his life was spent there, mostly lying in a crib or isolette, and how many shots and IVs and heel sticks he’d already had at that point.

Valor now weighs as much as James did when he died, and he’s wearing some of the 12-month clothes James wore those last hot beautiful months. It is hard to see some of those outfits again. They stir up buried feelings of longing and sadness in my heart. I don’t want to immerse myself in the intensity of his loss, but I don’t want to lessen it either by diluting the memories with a new association. So I tend to put the newer outfits on Valor, the ones James never got a chance to wear.

Valor is eating 6 times a day now, and taking 3-4 naps. I am having a hard time understanding what his nap schedule should be now that he is not napping between every feeding. I have been trying to let him show me what he needs so I can set up a schedule to follow, but it’s not very consistent. He seems to take one long nap, and a couple 30-45 minute ones, at varying times. He’s sleeping about 9.5 hours at night now. I started a slightly earlier bedtime routine, in which I bathe him, read to him, feed him, and put him down by 8:30 p.m. He took to that well and is usually asleep by 8:45. It’s been nice to have an hour or two to do something else at night before falling into bed. However, now he’s waking up around 6 am, so hopefully he stretches that a little longer soon.

The cue that tells me he is awake is a series of “thumps.” This is what I call “stomping.” He lifts up both his legs (he’s still sleeping on his back) and drops them down together, thumping his feet on the mattress. This may be repeated for quite a while if he’s happily sucking his thumb (aka Best Friend). Sometimes he’ll go back to sleep after stomping a while in the middle of the night. Other times it’s the prelude to a whimper, then a cry as he wakes up and puts in his breakfast order.

In December I started taking Valor to the weekly storytime at the local library branch. All the moms trickle in and seat their kids around the edges of a colorful rug. The 20-minute storytime incorporates nursery rhymes, songs with movements or stuffed animal props, and a couple simple books. At the end the storyteller sings a “thank you” song and blows tiny bubbles that swirl around the kids and rest on their hair and the rug. It looks really magical, and the older kids spin dizzily in them or try to pop them.

Valor doesn’t really notice the bubbles yet, but he does like to watch the storyteller and the other kids. He’s one of the youngest there (I think it’s supposed to be 3-15 month olds). It’s interesting to see how they all interact. One girl seemed friendly enough, came up to Valor (whom I was holding in front of me) and suddenly smacked the top of his head, leaving little scratch marks. He was tough and didn’t react much. Her mother was embarrassed and tried to get her daughter to apologize, but who could have known her daughter was going to do that? She didn’t really seem to premeditate it, and she certainly didn’t want to apologize after the fact. I don’t let the other kids get as close to Valor now. Live and learn!

I started trying solid foods (rice cereal) with Valor last week. I was prepared for him to reject it outright, but he seems to be cautiously accepting. This morning he finished his whole tiny bowlful, and then at lunchtime he wasn’t really too patient with it, so it just depends on his mood I guess. It’s exciting to feed him without any worry of choking, swallowing issues, or blood sugars! This is so much easier than with James! One thing is true for both of them, they try to get their hands into the experience.

I love to listen to Valor’s sounds. He is “talking” and cooing quite a bit now, and experimenting with his mouth. It seems like he is trying to learn to speak German or Hebrew instead of English because he loves to make a gutteral Greek “chi” or rough kkkk sound. He’s also laughing a lot more, especially when Daddy is around.

[quicktime]http://houseofgjertsen.info/video/laughing.mov[/quicktime]

It feels so good to hold Valor. His heft feels like the heft of James. I don’t want to take his life for granted.

26 thoughts on “fee-FIVE-fo-fum!”

  1. The one of Valor in the stroller is my all-time favorite! So adorable! Looking forward to some Valor time at the Womens’ Retreat! ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. Thanks for the update. I’ve been wondering how your little guy is doing. He looks so healthy and adorable. I am so happy for you.

    PS Both my kids have been or are currently thumbsuckers. I love that they can go to sleep and lucked out in that my son said, I’m five so I don’t suck my thumb anymore and actually stuck with it. Amazing!

  3. I love your site and check it frequently for updates. I adore this update of Valor. I never fail to smile when I see photos of him.

    I have a friend who is a children’s librarian and she also has story times with young kids like Valor. What is the “Thank You” song? If it has a familiar tune or words, please let me know (if it is not too much trouble of course) so that I can share it with my librarian friend.

    Thanks and keep those updates coming (I can always use the smiles!)

    Betty

    1. It’s more of a rhyme, there’s not much tune to it. I think I have this right:

      “My hands say ‘thank you’ with a clap clap clap
      My feet say ‘thank you’ with a tap tap tap
      Clap clap clap, tap tap tap
      And goodbye until next week, when we’ll sing and dance and read together at the library again!”

      There is a “hello” song, which has a tune similar to “So long, Farewell” from The Sound of Music.
      “Hello (waving), hello, hello and how are you?
      I’m fine (hand on chest), I’m fine, I hope that you are too.”

  4. Aw, Valor is so adorable. The video of him laughing is possibly the cutest thing I’ve seen. It’s great to see him getting so big as well, and it must be great for you both to see him react to stories and play with his toys.
    As far as his invisible hair goes, I’m sure it’s the least of your worries, but it will come in eventually. My younger sister must have been about 2 before her hair really came in (in contrast, our cousin who was born on the same day as my sister had been for a couple of haircuts before my sister had enough to cut).

  5. Will and I listened to baby Valor.
    What doting parents to import a dove and then uncork champagne for the shooting!
    laura

  6. I know it’s normal for women to experience hair loss after pregnancy, but my mom’s suggestion was to wash hair/scalp in water that had been boiled with ginger in it (mix with cold water to create a sink full of warm water to wash with), and for some reason that actually really reduced hair loss to just regular hair loss.

    Thought I’d share her little remedy from experience with you, that actually worked!

  7. Love the photos and Valor’s happy smile (not to mention Mom’s and Dad’s). It goes without saying but I’ll say it–it’s OK to remember James. The memory of your firstborn and everything about them is burned into a mom’s mind. I’m sure you’ll not take Valor’s life for granted.

    1. The Viking hat is from our friend Laura (commenter “ChrisandLaura” above). She made it just for him when she found out what we were going to name him, before Valor was born. I don’t think she’s planning to, but I know several moms that have their orders ready if she went into business! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  8. Love reading about your family and seeing Valor grow. I came over from Sweet Baby James awhile back.

    Today when listening to that adorable video both my dogs squeezed up next to the monitor to watch then, confused, turned their heads back and forth in sync trying to understand that noise! It was so funny I had to laugh myself.

  9. I’ve been following your blog for a while now and I just have to express to you what a blessing it’s been. Thank you for sharing your struggles and triumphs with us. Little Valor is stunningly beautiful and looks like such a happy little fellow!

    Since you have been bringing sunshine into my life through your blogs, I wanted to return the favor. I’ve nominated you for a Sunshine Award on my blog. If you’d like to check it out, feel free!

  10. Like many, I found Sweet Baby James via the Cakewrecks blog, read it in one sitting and cried through much of it. I was so moved by the courage that you three displayed throughout James’ life (here, at least) and beyond, and thank you for sharing your reflections on the Bible that go deeper than the norm. Suffering does that, I guess.
    After taking in a chronologically condensed version of your lives over the last few years, I was so excited to read that finally you had little Valor. He was born on the same day as our daughter Zoe, who arrived in our lives after some very different (much less severe, much less protracted) struggles. It is a joy to read what Valor is up to, as despite being on opposite sides of the world, they have clearly been reading the same “How To” baby manual – the mattress thumping, the waking that is no longer coinciding with being hungry…not to mention the cloth nappy adventures. I wish we could get the same laundry powder in Australia.
    Thanks for sharing

  11. Hello!

    I, like Zoe’s mum up there, came here from Cakewrecks and sniffled my way through sweetbabyjames before coming to this blog. I wanted to thank you for writing all of this down, and tell you that you really are inspiring people ๐Ÿ™‚

    Also, I wanted to say: I was an invisible haired baby! sometime between the age of two and three my wispy invisible hair became very dark brown hair, which then lightened a bit before I hit 5. My eyebrows…still haven’t quite caught up. They finally became visible when I was about 17, but they’re still about a third blonde.

  12. hI there,

    It is my hope that my last comment about the Babywise book and Gary Ezzo did not offend you. i just felt that as a fellow Christian, it is my duty to warn others who share with me in Christ about things that are potentially harmful. You guys are special to me, and even though I do not know you, i feel very close to you somehow, and if I hurt you in any way by my last comment, I’d feel so terrible. My heart would bleed it would hurt so bad. i just wanted to help because I hate when bad people take advantage of wonderful people like you all, and the sad thing is that Ezzo is a crooked man leading many devoted, wonderful, special parents astray and is making money off of it hand over fist, and it is a tragedy. I do not want that to happen to you all because after all you have been through you do not need the headache or the hurt.

    On a happier note, I’m glad to see that things are going well for you. You all deserve it so much after all you all have been through. Give the little one a kiss from me, keep up the good work, and most of all, keep the faith. You guys are in my prayers as always, and it seems that they are being answered after all. god bless.

  13. Excellent read, I just passed this onto a friend who was doing some research on that. And he just bought me lunch because I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: Thank you for lunch!

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