30 October 2013 ~ 5 Comments


Today’s ultrasound at 8 weeks was identical to last week’s: Bitty measured six weeks, one day; no heartbeat. Bitty was gone. The doc said there was nothing we did wrong or could have done better, and that there was no reason to expect that this type of problem would happen again. She didn’t think Bitty was in the scar, but she couldn’t be sure.

I want to thank everyone of faith who prayed earnestly for us over the past couple weeks. “Complete” was the word the Lord gave to one of you to encourage us. Now that God’s decision is known, we are sad but relieved that the anxiety is over.

Of course, we don’t know if Bitty (or maybe Itty) was a boy or a girl. We’ll assume it was Bitty, and since we’re accustomed to losing girls, we’ll say she was a girl. Her life here was sadly and inexplicably short, yet now happy and eternal; Bitty never heard our voices, slept in our arms, or carefully crayoned her first and last name; yet her adoption into our family is complete.

Genetically speaking, she was the product of a 40-year old credit manager from South Carolina who likes classic rock and baseball cards and a petite 23-year old egg donor whose mother was Thai. But for a few weeks, and forever, she is a Gjertsen.

A lot of folks may not have known that embryo adoption was even possible, so maybe it’s more realistic that our story doesn’t convey the idea that adoption—of any kind—is any kind of easy. It’s costly and perilous like the gospel that inspires it.

Bitty’s journey as a Gjertsen is complete, but our adventure to rescue the fatherless isn’t. We’re going to spend a few months recuperating and posting pictures of our boys, and expect to pick up this thread of adoption again in 2014.

5 Responses to “complete”

  1. Diane Hamersley 31 October 2013 at 7:42 am Permalink

    Dearest Abby and John,

    I am crying as I send this but know that you and your “Itty” and “Bitty” are in God’s caring, loving, grace giving hands. May He sustain you in this loss and bless you for all you are doing in His way for you. A lot of folks I engaged to pray for you had never heard of “snowflake” adoption so the word is being spread…among Christians who may make a difference in an embryo’s life.

    God bless and comfort you,

  2. Christy 31 October 2013 at 7:59 am Permalink

    I am so sorry to hear this. You have done a beautiful thing in adopting both of those little lives. May God comfort you as you grieve them, and may you experience His nearness.

    I pray that in time God directs you to the next child(ren) He has for you to adopt and gives you with a little one to hold and raise. We adopted our third child domestically. A journey that grew our faith and changed our hearts. I didn’t expect to be changed so much in the process. But our adoption of our daughter was so much more than just adopting her. God is always working far more than we realize.

  3. Ashley M. 2 November 2013 at 11:45 pm Permalink

    I am so sorry :(

  4. Stephen 3 November 2013 at 10:43 pm Permalink

    I’m so sorry

  5. Shara Livingston 6 November 2013 at 2:41 pm Permalink

    So sorry for your loss of this precious baby! I will be continuing to pray!

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